Courage, dear heart. Courage.
Nelson Mandela once said, "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it." Simply put, courage cannot exist without fear. There needs to be a fear in order for there to be an opportunity for courage.
I've been thinking about courage a lot lately. Sometimes I find myself so paralyzed by my fears. Living a courageous life is so appealing until it comes time to actually do it. My life is dominated by fear and the resulting anxiety, and more often than not, I'm left hiding in the comforts of my life instead of pushing myself to pursue the really good satisfying stuff. Mostly because I'm afraid of the really tough scary stuff that can come along with the really good stuff. I definitely lack in courage. I definitely settle for comfort. I definitely forget, like Mr. Mandela, that courage is actually the triumph over fear, not the lack thereof.
I long for fulfillment and meaning, as do many people seeking a great life. Sometimes I wonder if there is something bigger for me out there. Maybe one day soon I'll find myself somewhere I never could have imagined I would be. Maybe one day far down the road I'll find myself somewhere I never could have dreamed of going. But is my lack of courage to triumph over my fears going to prevent those opportunities from knocking? Am I playing a roll in my destiny by limiting myself? By living in my fears instead of at least trying to triumph over them?
So why do I kid myself? Why do I long to be fearless? I have something better - the chance to face my fears and triumph over them. To be brave. To stand firm. To be strong. To live a meaningful life with the help of my God - one who doesn't promise a simple go at it, but does promise that he will never leave me or forsake me as I try.
This is where I sit this morning. Just me and Sutchi. With a mess of pencils and ink pens around us. Doodling. Praying. Thanking. Reminding. Courageousing.